Silly Hamsters is the name of the site, and the name says it all. Like stalkers, we look into her window hoping to catch her with her pants down so we can post the pictures on YouTube. Our voyeuristic nature keeps us returning to the scene of the crime. Either that or the smell of the room tells us it's time to give HamsterDame more pellets, freshen her water and clean out her cage. If it weren't for us she would probably never remove her eyes from the Big Brother feeds and forget to eat altogether.

In a way we are keeping her alive and well, like psychopaths with our victim locked in the basement, we lower the bucket and say to her "it puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again!"

So we pay homage to our kidnapped host. All the while more and more stalkers darken her door. She is about as charismatic as a train wreck and attracts the biggest of monsters.

Even the weather seems to send it's worst nightmares in her direction. Through the years she has been paid visits by the likes of benignly named terrors Alicia, Bonnie, Allison, Chantal, Jerry, Dean, Allison (again), Grace, Humberto, Rita and now Ike. She seems to be a magnet for disaster. Each time she just flips them the bird and goes right on typing. Perhaps that is why we watch her travails through the internets. One never knows when the next storm of conflict will rise up and cause her grief.

Other names have appeared throughout the years. Coleen with one "L", diff, Dixie, footballmom, gray, Grog, Claypo, SuZieQ, xtex88, Sleepyeye10, DRATS, alua53, Betty, CanFan, BenF, verity and a whole slew of other visitors who so badly need get lives that Death himself wouldn't waste his time with them. It is my extreme misfortune that tonight I have that task.

But since I am easily persuaded (usually a six-pack of import beer will do the trick), I have been commissioned to put on this soiree. If you have not been mentioned, it's because you didn't care enough to give me your input or I didn't care enough to use it!

I realize some of you wouldn't know funny if it crawled up your pants leg and nibbled your bum. So just in case you think I am talking about you... I probably am.

Appropriate cliche is an oxymoron in my opinion, so let me use another one, let's get this show on the road!
Before we do, let me remind you all that this is a roast. If you were not aware of what a roast is all about then you are about to get an education and quite possibly a rude awakening. Those who didn't know what they were getting themselves into should understand that this is all in jest and meant to be humorous in the darkest sense of the word.
Let the games begin!